It never ceases to amaze me how much hope can be in my face, how many relationships can grow/develop, how many puzzle pieces can fall into place, and still, I have mornings like these.
A few hours ago, I shared a post about hope. About loving yourself, and here I sit, not taking my own advice. But I’m no hypocrite, I’m wounded. PTS (Post Traumatic Stress) is a formidable foe. Its an ever changing bedmate. This is why I believe a single plan of treatment is grossly ineffective. We need therapy, community, a cause to fight for, a race to train for. We need a voice and we need to use it. We need to create and not be afraid of our emotions. We need to honor them.
I had a rough morning after a good start. Thats PTS. Its guerrilla warfare and if you're trained in tradition combat, you're done. PTS requires a modern fighting approach. If the Red Coats fought the modern US soldiers, the battles would be quite a bit shorter!
Its time we get creative in this fight. The old way wasn't working so I reached out and went the non-traditional route. I kept my therapy appointments and they are still very important. They just can't be the only thing we do in out pursuit of healing. Because I reached out I received non-traditional building blocks. I was then able to build a healthy structure on top of my traditional foundation. Because of this, I am writing and stopping my downward spiral.
Lets get tactical!
For me, that means adding to my therapy visits additional healing measures. Its getting a service dog, attending Save a Warrior, Getting to know Magnus at Mission 22 and Elder Heart, Its training for triathlon, Its creating an opportunity to lead others as they train as well, and Its being vulnerable.
In this moment, I feel better. From the moment my pen hit paper to now, I am a different person.
I challenge you all to write! Force yourself to write when you're scared or hurting! If you'd be brave, secure, and ready to, share it somewhere, somehow, and with someone! We struggle when we're alone, when we try to keep up appearances. We keep ourselves sick believing the fallacy that showing emotions, good or "bad", somehow makes us weak.
In truth, showing emotion means we are strong and close to the heart of true humanity.